Tag Archives: meeting the parents

Meeting A’s Parents

This post has been long due and I almost forgot that I mentioned I would write about my experience of meeting A’s parents here.

We went to Nepal during August of 2012 to inform our parents that we want to get married and get their blessings to fix a date. I was a little nervous about meeting A’s Mom and Dad. My family and his family are totally different and my relationship with my parents and his relationship with his parents are different too. A’s relationship with his parents are a little formal and they barely talk about day to day activities. They talk about important family matters and discuss about big family decisions. But the story of me and my family is totally different. We share almost everything, I talk to my parents on a daily basis over Skype, except during weekends and we talk for long hours. If there is any day I’m unable to Skype, the next day my mom will say, “I feel like its been a lot of days since we’ve talked, isn’t it?”. The topic of conversation is usually food-what did you eat for lunch/dinner and so on and how was your day? Its also because my mom stays at home and she misses us a lot. Her life has always been about me and my brother, daily household chores and religion and spirituality. So when she asks me to come over Skype every single day, I cannot say no too and it does get difficult/frustrating at times but it makes her happy :).

Attendees from my side:
Mom, Bua(Dad), my cousin brother and me
Attendees from A’s side:
A’s Mom, A’s Dad, A’s Grandmom, A’s elder sister her husband and her kid
Venue: A restaurant in K City

So, lets get back to the topic. My Bua is very talkative and likes to talk but A’s Dad talks less. My mom and A’s mom are similar in terms of their talking habits, they say whatever they feel :). So when we got to the restaurant, I was a little nervous in the beginning. As soon as we sat down, A’s Grandmom asked him to give me the flower bouquet that A had brought. A’s niece had also planned to give me a hand made congratulations card but she forgot to bring it. After that, we found a good private place to sit. A and I were given the job to order food. After the initial introduction, we looked at the menu and started to order. Then my Bua started the conversation. They generally talked about the wedding date(which was already calculated by a family priest of A’s family), supari day and the reception day. As Bua is not shy to talk, he was constantly speaking and A’s Dad was smiling and nodding with occasional laugh. It was a long table and I was at the other end of the table. All I could hear was Bua’s voice and A’s Dad’s laugh. In the meantime, A’s Grandmom and Mom were very sweet and talking to me and my Mom. Their discussion was generally about how we met and what were our future plans, they were constantly asking us about our plan to come back and live in Nepal. A’s sister was also taking part in the conversation and all of them very nice to me. My initial nervousness had settled by this time and we were merrily taking pictures and enjoying food. I was especially glad because Bua included me and asked me before fixing any date or deciding upon the ceremonies, it made me feel special and equally respected(usually this doesn’t happen in a tradition Nepali family but times are changing for good now). At the end of the meeting, both parties were happy and A’s Grandmom, Mom and sister took pictures with me. After that all of us took a group picture and we returned back home.

I can’t believe it was 4 months back, it feels like yesterday :). In 2 month A and I will be married. It all feels like a dream, how we met and now we are getting married :). I am looking forward to spending my life with A but I’m a little nervous about the wedding too.

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Filed under Culture, Wedding Diary

In anticipation of meeting the parents!

Hello August!!

Finally August is here, the month I’ve waited eagerly since the day we confirmed going back to Nepal to visit family. Unlike any other visit to home, this one is special. This August, I will be taking a big step forward in life, meeting A’s parents.

A and I have been together since October last year. We didn’t quite follow the traditional relationship route. Instead, we fell in love in an awkward situation, hesitated a little in the beginning but then love spreads like fragrance and before we could figure out what was going on, we were already in a relationship. In November of the same year, we both went back home. During that time, A met my parents. My mom was very happy to meet A and more than that she was relieved I was in a serious relationship, Nepali moms!! Bua was not so confident about the decision I had made so fast. He looked at A with skepticism and didn’t talk with him that well too(poor A!). After we came back to Bangkok, I was poured with lots of question like, Where is A’s home in Kathmandu? What is his father’s name? How old is he?(:P) Did he have any girlfriends in the past, I thought you mentioned about him before? Ohh, I was so embarrassed of my parents at that time, but I had to answer them. After I had successfully(really?), satisfied them with my answers. The next question was, when are you both planning to get married? We had officially been in a relationship for only two months and the big question was already there!! I did feel a little pressured at this point but luckily A and I both knew, if we go ahead with this relationship marriage would be there in the cards. Sometimes A would hear me answering my mom regarding marriage, I would tell her, “Mummy, we would definitely get married but we don’t know when, we haven’t discussed!!”. One day, after one of my conversations with mom and Bua, I casually asked A, when do you think we will get married? I needed an answer so that I could give some definite timeline to my parents and they would stop worrying. I think A too felt some pressure when I asked him this. At this point, he said, honey we would get married eventually but even I don’t know when, we’ve just been in a relationship. This answer made me blush with embarrassment, but quickly A sensed my embarrassment and answered, this year would be too early since we need to plan for leave, save some money and I have to inform my parents too but I think it would definitely be next year. I finally had some answer to satisfy my parents.

So, in the same month, A and I were walking around in a shopping mall when we saw a jewelry store with big advertisement, discount on rings! That day, A bought a ring and said, I will give you this ring when we go back to Nepal next time and we will get engaged in front of our parents. I was so happy that day, of course the ring was beautiful :), but the happiness was mainly because of how confident we were about each other and although it would look like we were rushing in, we were completely at ease with each other and we were clear that we wanted to be together, forever. And rest is all history (I will talk about the proposal some other day).

So, the day has finally arrived, we will officially declare our engagement to our parents. I have watched a lot of movies, read a lot of books that talk about the importance of “the proposal”, but in the east, in my side of the world; you know you are in a serious relationship when the guy tells his parents about the girl. So, meeting the parents in the east is equivalent to the marriage proposal in west. This time when we go home, there will be a big event; parents of both sides will meet each other and it will be a beginning of the union of two families. Wedding and marriage is a family affair in Nepal, it is never only about the guy and the girl. It is about the guys’ family and the girls’ family. I will be meeting A’s parents for the first time, I am a little nervous about it, but I am happy as well.

Tomorrow, we will board a flight to Delhi, shop for two days in Delhi and go back to Kathmandu on 5th. In August, I will write more about my saree shopping experience in Delhi, meeting the parents experience in Kathmandu and lots of other stuffs. So stay tuned and wish me luck!!

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Filed under Culture, ramblings