Tag Archives: blogging

To write or not to write

One of the things that I’ve been musing about lately is “to write or not to write”. I am very new to this world of blogging. When I first discovered it, I was so overwhelmed by the like minded people I met here, I felt a need to simply be present.

I didn’t have a clear direction on what I wanted my blog to be and what I wanted to write about. I have always written about my musings now and then but they are very personal. I was not sure if I would be so comfortable to open myself up and be naked. I have always been a private person. Although I love and admire people who can make a lot of friends and socialize anywhere they go, I haven’t quite been able to be that person. I have limited friends but the ones I have are very dear to me and are friends since a long time. I must confess that I’ve been safe in my space here, I haven’t taken a chance and I haven’t pushed myself to really be out there. I am an optimist and I’d like to make things work but that also leads to ignoring and not dealing with the negatives that exists in life. I am fearful of the “inevitables”(if it makes any sense). What I mean here is, I’d be happy to blog about the good things in life but for me to blog about the bad/sad things, it takes courage. On the contrary I do not usually write about the good feelings(lets say in my diary) but rather they are the sad contemplations of life. May be its the fear of exposing my vulnerabilities or my fear of dealing with circumstances or the eastern way of socializing.

Life is very uncertain and I say this with experience and I know how true it is. This uncertainty about life scares me. During good times I tend to think about how life is in constant motion and “good follows bad and bad follows good” cycle and during tough times I tend to worry about how tougher things might get.

I believe in honest writing, if I’m not honest I’d rather not write. I like it personal and I like it honest. So lately I’ve been struggling to find the right words to say here. I have been thinking should I write about the delicious food I prepared when I’m unwell and cannot enjoy the delicious food or should I write about the humdrum that has been going on with the upcoming wedding when I’ve not been able to enjoy it so much being far from the family and not feeling so healthy. Overall I’ve come to realize that I cannot be so open about my life sharing every detail.

I hope I will not be disappointing my readers, however few they are. I will surely continue to write in this space here but they will be less frequent. And another important thing for me to figure out is, how social I can be in this space and how much of personal details I can share. May be I can find a way to be social without being too personal :).

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Life and Me:)

Life is filled with uncertainties. Although many scientists and dreamers likewise would want to invent equations to perform accurate predictions to forecast or even get a hint on what life would lead to, until this day of so called modern times, it has not been quite possible.

My life is no different from yours albeit it does have its own uniqueness, it still follows the same path of uncertainties that your life follows. Human life has a pattern that follows the same route of childhood, growing up and getting old but in its own way it find its way of being unique like a piece of art or a designer dress that is of course an art or a dress but is unique and special in its own too.

When I was a child, all i wanted to do was play with my brothers and sisters, cuddle with my mom and enjoy delicious treats from uncles and aunts. When I grew up to be a teenager, I learned about friendship, companionship along with the discomforting feeling of rebelling against family and trying hard to be socially acceptable. Now when I look back I feel like those years were the most significant in terms of shaping up my personality and the way I am today. After that came the golden days of infatuation, when you’d be infatuated with any cute guy you see at school or on TV. I had and still have a huge crush on Rahul Khanna since his MTV days, I had secret crushes on seniors of my school about whom I had endless conversation with my girlfriends, without any valid conclusions, of course!! It was a classic era, we girls would gather in a special corner in school and talk about all the guys we secretly liked, I wonder if todays’ teenagers still do the same.

Rahul Khanna(Photo Credit:Google Image search)

After that was stuff like career choice, what field of study to choose, whether to study abroad or get admitted in a local university, and then was engineering days. Well, there is a whole other story behind my choice of taking up engineering as a field of study but as I mentioned, life is uncertain but the things we do and the things we choose sure does lead us to the ultimate truth or the ultimate significance of our being if we follow the signs….well at least thats what I think!!:).

Then came along the big lessons in life, the ones that I wasn’t quite ready for like mom’s disease, heartbreak, loneliness and struggle to discover myself and making peace with where I had come and what I had become. These were the big uncertainties in my life that I didn’t have a slightest clue about. I was more than shocked and heartbroken to discover that mom had cancer. She was and still is the centre of my universe. Throughout my life I have been so close to her that at that moment it was impossible for me to imagine life without her presence. It took understanding life to a whole new level. It taught me life is uncertain and our time is limited. Those days that I spent at the hospital were the days that made me appreciate life and love the people around me even more. This experience cured me of negative thinking and life felt good when there was hope and when the impossible looked achievable.

Mommy dearest ❤

After that incident, life has been a bundle of Joy. It made our family stronger, friends closer and enemies farther away which were the negative thinking and wrong attitude towards life. Then came along A, the love of my life, my darling, whom I love with all my heart and soul. Ever since I saw him for the first time at the corridor, life has been better with its little surprises. Even as a stranger, he had looked after me and taken care of me. He has been around in times of need and he has provided love and support beyond my needs and expectations. It is his innocent eyes that remind me how beautiful my life is with him being around. Today, I am happy and at peace. I am getting married early next year and I am looking forward to have a wonderful life ahead :). My hopes, aspirations and ambitions have changed with time as well. I hope to be a good person, aspire to love and care for my family and dream of giving back to the world the same support and love that it has given me in my own little way.

A and Me ❤

And not to mention, I have found a medium to express myself to the world, I have discovered blogging. It makes me true and honest to myself. It encourages me to pursue my dreams and share my experience with numerous people around the world who feel and experience similar things!!:)

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