In life, I have never been perfectly satisfied for long. There are times when I take a moment to thank God for what I have and how good my life is. I truly feel blessed but the feeling does not last forever. Now and then I feel like there is something missing in life, I feel like I’m not where I’m supposed to be. I feel like I’ve been wasting my time all life long and ignoring that one true calling.
Everything happens for a reason, its not hard to believe in this. I can see the reason why I am here and I can see the reason why things happened in the past and I am very thankful to be where I am; I feel blessed to have my family and friends around me, they are my support system. I know I am strong, head strong and I can get what I want. I also know that change is essential, being in one place for a long time is not my thing. I need change, I need wings, I want to fly. Today is one of those days when I feel like what the hell am I doing here, does everything in life narrows down to money and will I spend my life just thinking about the three basics of living that my eastern values have taught me? Will I live like my parents who spent their entire life worrying about food, home and children? All I’ve ever learned is that life is only about earning a living! I am so confused right now.
Sometimes I wonder, how life would be, if I could just do what I love to do, how would life be if I were to discover that one missing ingredient. But again, life lures you into thinking that there is this one thing that exists that will change the way you think and change the way you live. It makes you alive, curious and you venture out in a life long search of something that probably doesn’t even exist. The enigma of life never fails to fascinate me, the passion of poets never fail to confuse me. Sometimes I wonder, what did the greats discover and how did they feel when they had it all? But there is no perfect life, there is no example of a perfect living and there is no example of a perfect being.
Today is one of those days when I feel like doing nothing. It is one of those days when I feel like digging deep and finding answers. I just wish I could be at peace. I wish I could just read a book, stroll in the beach, sip margaritas and do nothing. May be I need a vacation o_O!!